They landed in the dead of night,
Ships so bright, it hurt our sight.
Thought they’d conquer, thought they’d rule,
But Earth’s a joke, we’re all just fools.

They stepped out, looked around,
Saw the trash, heard the sound.
Gunshots, screams, and endless fights,
They said, "Nope, we’re out, goodnight!"

They came, they saw, they bailed,
This planet’s cursed, it’s fucking failed.
Wars and waste, it’s all they found,
Earth’s a shithole, they’re homeward bound!

They scanned the air, it’s thick with smoke,
Oceans choked, the planet’s broke.
Saw the rich, saw the poor,
Said, "This place ain’t worth the war."

They feared our germs, our twisted minds,
Our chains, our cells, our barbed-wire binds.
"Fuck this," they said, "we’re outta here,
This planet’s death, it’s crystal clear!"

They came, they saw, they bailed,
This planet’s cursed, it’s fucking failed.
Wars and waste, it’s all they found,
Earth’s a shithole, they’re homeward bound!

So now they’re gone, they left no trace,
We’re still here, in this fucking place.
Aliens smarter than we’ll ever be,
They saw the truth – we’re history.